I’ve been doing alot of thinking since I started this journey.  I guess I had to find SOMETHING to keep me occupied when I would normally be feeding my face.  I’ve been reading so many articles and theories on what makes people overweight.  Now, I won’t discount the fact that some people have major issues that prevent them from naturally losing weight, but myself, along with many millions just like me, have only one major obstacle, ourselves.

It’s sad really, when you try to wrap your mind around it.  We sabotage ourselves.  I’m guilty.   People would always comment that it didn’t seem like I ever ate, how could I be heavy.  It was true, I wasn’t a breakfast or a lunch eater, and although I tried to argue that “no diet worked for me” the reality was, I refused to work with any diet.

Food is probably the hardest addiction to overcome, because we need food to survive.  It’s not like alcohol or a drug, where you can just clear your house of it and cut if off cold turkey.  Not only do we need to eat, but most of us *raises hand high* LIKE or even love to eat.  That’s personally for me why I stopped so many diets and fell off the bandwagon.  I would either lose interest, lose motivation, or most often, I’d want some of the good old home cooking that I was so used to making or eating so I’d crack, cook up or pick up a big meal or a week of meals that I knew weren’t good for me.  Then of course I’d have to console myself and say hey, I’m happy with me the way I am.

Sorry to break this fat people’s myth, but not one of us are REALLY happy with being overweight.  I mean we have confidence and realize that the outer does not define us, but I guarantee deep inside any overweight person would rather be smaller to look and feel better about themselves.

So, what is the trick?  I guess for me, something in my mind finally clicked.  I just had to convince myself, once and for all, that nothing tastes as great as being thin is going to feel.  It’s a corny old motto that I got from one too many Weight Watcher meetings back in the day.  But now I realize that none of those times was I ready, not ready like I am now.  I went out this weekend, and found myself, even though I had just weighed in and I had a whole week to burn off the calories, ordering something I thought would be fairly low in calories, and limiting the amount of the food I ate.  Mind you I wanted to snarf it, but I thought to myself…do I REALLY want to mess up where I am, the 19lbs I have lost so far.  Technically I’m almost 1/5th of the way to the end of this trip.  I wouldn’t go 1/5th of the way to work just to turn around because I forgot my comfty sweater…I’d keep going and tell myself I could get my comfty sweater later at home. 

So that’s what I am doing with food.  I know I won’t have to diet strictly the rest of my life, but until I reach my goal, I will discipline myself to make it a success.  When I’m there, I can always have a day to cheat or treat myself, as long as my general mindset is the same and I eat right most of the time.  So I will pick my battle on this.  I want to win the war…so I won’t let myself by my own downfall!